Jim Goad's GIGANTIC BOOK OF SEX
FINALLY BACK IN STOCK AFTER FIVE FUCKING YEARS!
ALL COPIES SIGNED BY JG.
PRICE INCLUDES SHIPPING .
If you enjoy it, then you’ll enjoy this book. In fact, if you don’t buy this book, there must be something wrong with both your mind and your sex organs, and you don’t want anyone thinking that, do you?
Merely owning this book will make you sexier. This book will teach you how to have thunderous, crashing orgasms, the kind you’d never learn to have without it. Don’t you want to be more sensuous? Don’t you want members of the opposite sex to like you? Realize that you will be inadequate both as a lover and a human being if you don’t own this book. The best way you could prove to the world that you’re a sexy person is to buy this book. To be safe, buy multiple copies.
To heighten your reading pleasure and facilitate your comprehension, the book is split into four sections:
FAKE ... Learn all about the nonexistent realities of home breast-implant kits, adult films made by children, penis sizes of world religious figures, a man who uses Photoshop to give himself a bigger sex organ, a strip club where all the dancers are victims of shark bites, and a support group for strippers who were never abused.
REAL ... Dive into the frightening worlds of rectal foreign bodies, dirty words in other languages, vaginal flatulence, strange sex laws, homosexuality in the animal kingdom, biological sex freaks, and molestation by nuns.
PERSONAL ... Watch as the author fearlessly reminisces about his one-night stands, sex with mature women, cheating, and female ejaculation. Enjoy forbidden thrills as he test-drives Viagra, has sex with other men’s women, explores his prostate gland, reveals his sexual crush on himself, and takes pictures of his penis.
OPINION ... Wherein the writer reveals his precious feelings about bestiality, prostitution, handjobs, obscene phone calls, catfights, shower nozzles, sluts, malodorous vaginas, infantile breast fixations, and whether or not Jesus had wet dreams. Marvel as he systematically crushes the idiocy of “sex-positive” writing.
Flip through the vibrant colors and gorgeous layouts nestled between the covers, and you’ll realize there is no other book like this one. This book is CONTROVERSIAL! NEW! EXCITING! SCABROUS! BONER-INDUCING! VAGINA-LATHERING! It delivers ULTIMATE READING SATISFACTION. It provides more fun than you could possibly have without having sex.
This book is indisputably gigantic—eleven inches long and eight-and-a-half inches wide. If that’s not enough to satisfy you, go see a doctor. Many people who didn't buy this book have succumbed to sexual dysfunctions such as impotence and frigidity. Others have fallen victim to diseases such as herpes and AIDS. Please, for your own sake as well as that of your loved ones, don't be like them.
Jim Goad had a lot of sex in order to provide you with this much entertainment. Sex is God’s gift to humanity. This book is Goad’s gift to you.
8.5" x 11" • 224 pages, every one of them in screaming color on high-gloss paper
EACH COPY IS SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR—this is the only place on the Web to buy signed copies